Dream a Million Dreams

ghosttricks:

-He instantly types “I’m sorry” again, only to back it up and delete it. No use in apologizing when she’s asked him not to—but he has so much to be sorry for. Unfortunately, the Sissel he’d love to really apologize to, the one who died ten years ago; this Sissel is beyond his reach and he knows damn well that spouting nonsense apologies at this one will do nobody any good.

There’s something about hearing from her, though, that makes him feel… ashamed. This woman… would never have wanted him to take lives in her name. She would have never even thought him capable of that. Not Yomiel; he spent most of his hours lost to a computer screen trying to work out the latest code, forgetting to even eat at times without her consistent interference.

That last thought earns a smile from from, however brief, before he continues-

It’s okay, really. I know it seems… unnatural, especially to run into so many of us, but I don’t mean to place any unnecessary stress on you.

(She mentioned she’s upset about something, what is it? I don’t even know what years she’s from… shouldn’t try guessing)

-“You’ll always be my Yomiel”; again, he’s staring at the screen with a near vacant expression-

(No, no I’m not your Yomiel, you wouldn’t… you wouldn’t even recognize what I’ve become. I’m so sorry—I’m trying to get better, I am, I know you wouldn’t—)

I don’t blame you. It’s pretty weird… running into myself too, you know, so I guess I can relate to knowing too many Yomiels, right? 

You could say I’m from your future.
Well, a future; one that might not necessarily become yours.

(At least I hope not, please, please—)

(She leans her chin on the back of her hand, elbow on the desk, idly typing one-handed with a faint smile.) ’Unnatural’? Unnatural’s one word for it. Crazy could be another. Heh. But I’ve always believed there are things in the world that can’t be explained… It’s still a bit of a shock.

Not a stress, though! I always love talking to you, Yomi, you should know that. It’s the highlight of my day. I was just a little crabby at first; sorry again. It was a shock, but not a stress.

(… She bites her lip.) You too, then. But… How far? Weeks, months, years? Are you maybe a ‘future version’ of the Yomiel I’ve already talked to?

… Am I with you? In your present?

(Source: temsikdame)

wishonstarsholdingon replied to your post: distanttracesofbeauty started following you …

sISSEL NO…..

revengefulspirit replied to your post: distanttracesofbeauty started following you …

Oh, hell no.

P-Pardon? Is there something wrong with trying to extend a little courtesy to strangers?

… Language, dear.

distanttracesofbeauty started following you

Hello there! Thank you for following. If I’m not mistaken, I recall your name from seeing you and Yomi have a conversation earlier… Are you a friend?

revengefulspirit:

… Oh.

(What do you say about something that happened once already, years and years ago. Suddenly, being lonely for a week doesn’t seem as much of an issue.)

Sissel, I’m so sorry. I really… I really am.

(He remembers how she was after this, back in his time. And he remembers all those flowers, too, and he hates them.)

It’s — it’s fine, I should have guessed, I mean, you had something important to do. I’m sorry, Siss.

No, Yomiel, I… I was the one being selfish. Honestly, I have (you) so much, and to think that I couldn’t just share a little bit of my time with you, when from what I understand, you don’t have (me) anything — I’m the one who should be apologizing. (She’s said that already. To the not-him. Other-him. Whatever.)

Nothing is more important than you, Yomiel. I hope you remember that, at least.

(She stares blankly towards the ceiling for a pause, considering.) I still have so many questions for you, too. … (Let’s start with the not-so-personal.) What did you do to the computer, to let it talk to the past like this? I mean, I shouldn’t think the ability to have time-traveling conversations is common in the future, or … we would have heard about it… You really are a computer genius, you know? (She laughs.)

… How far ahead are you? It’ll be our one-year anniversary since the day you proposed this April (two months, fourteen days, nineteen hours and some-odd minutes), so that tells you what year it is now… And did you know there’s another … person like you on this site? Who says he’s a Yomiel from the future?

(This is really all a lot to take in.)

ghosttricks:

-He freezes, gazing at the computer monitor with a rather dazed look about him. like he’s somehow managed to become physically ill over some words on his screen, from a Sissel that isn’t his, from some paradox where she’s happy—he hopes to the gods that she’s happy. And now here he is, worrying her unnecessarily with his presence. He regrets it.

“The Yomiel I kissed a few hours ago?”, she had typed. Something about that burns a distant memory, letting it settle uncomfortably in his chest-

(What can I say? I can’t worry her too much, this is cruel, Yomiel.)

Yeah, you’ve got that right, Sissel. I’m not any “Yomiel” you’ve talked to before. And I’m sorry about that.

I’m from an alternate timeline, yeah, but don’t you worry about that.

(Doesn’t that just sound like some sort of syfy channel bullshit? I almost want to let her believe I’m a twin brother or something…equally harmless.)

I’m alright, Sissel.

(Sissel…)

Just wanted to say “hello”, is all.
Don’t let me trouble you.

(Sissel, gods, Sissel, I miss you—this is all I can do. I can’t see you, can’t explain anything, just…I shouldn’t have said anything.)

No…

(She reaches towards the monitor, a reassuring sentence frozen before it leaves her lips and she slowly curls her fingers back to a loose fist. Stupid, stupid.) No, it’s no trouble. Don’t— don’t apologize. (She takes a breath, forces the corners of her mouth to turn up, even if he can’t see it.) I’m the one who should be sorry. It’s just been … stressful, recently.

(‘And what about him, what kind of stress do you think he’s been under?’

Smile.) I shouldn’t have snapped like that. After all… No matter where — or when you are, you’ll always be my Yomiel. Right?

(For a moment, she imagines being with him, her arm behind his back and her hand on his chest… But abruptly, more imaginary Yomiels intrude on her scene; one blond spiked style, then two red suits, three pairs of mirrored sunglasses, all converging on her…

She shakes her head to clear the image, frowning at herself.) I guess I’m just not exactly used to the idea of there being more than one of you yet.

(Source: temsikdame)

ghosttricks:

(….not your Yomiel. I shouldn’t even say anything, really shouldn’t. I could ignore this, leave it be, I’ll only confuse her. It’s not worth it. Close the tab. She doesn’t need this. She’s already got another Yomiel to confuse her, but this…is borderline ridiculous. Shit. How do I play it off? Can I say ‘hi’? Can I at least say ‘hi’, that won’t hurt anything, right?

Close the fucking tab.)

Sissel…?

(Her heart feels jumpy, like she’s had too much coffee or too much excitement or just too much. Too much, she’s already been through this, and now she has to ask what she would have thought ridiculous just a few weeks ago,)

… Who are you, then? The Yomiel I kissed a few hours ago? The Yomiel f-from the future without me? From the past? His alternate universe twin brother? (She laughs once at her monitor, but it’s like choking back a sob.) How many of you (do i have to feel guilty for i’m sorry i left will leave am leaving sorry sorry) should I be looking out for?

(Too much.)

(Source: temsikdame)

catofkismet started following you

spotlesswhitecoat started following you

prodigalprosecutor started following you

ghosttricks started following you

Oh, and just look at all the followers I gained while I was away! It’s wonderful to meet all of you! (A … is that a cat? On the internet? — a man, a young woman, and—

She blinks.)

… Yo… miel?

revengefulspirit:

temsikdame liked your post: (…Idiot.)

Sis-

Sissel.

… Yomiel.

I … I’m sorry if I worried you. Leaving like that without a word. It’s just that… Well, you remember my grandmother? She stayed in the elderly care center, I took you to meet her once… (She’s repeating herself, she told him all of this already the day it happened and he gave her his shoulder to cry on.)

She had a stroke. New Year’s day. Sh— She was in the hospital for a week (and she stayed by her bedside as much as she could she visited every day), until… Her body shut down. And she passed on.

(She wipes her nose on her sleeve and can hear Grandmother’s voice in her head, chastising her on her manners, did I raise a hoodlum or did I raise a lady?) And, so… the past few weeks I’ve had my hands full with the funeral arrangements, meeting with family members… I got to see my parents and little sis again, which was nice. … Ehe, and now the foyer is filled with more lilies and ficuses than I know what to do with.

… I am sorry I haven’t visited. You know me, I’ve never been much of a computer person at the best of times.

(And it’d be a lie if she didn’t need some time off even barring all of that, to think. About her own life and future and lack thereof.)

sassygayfledge:

temsikdame replied to your post: boyfrans

…

pay no attention to the crazy posts of me

it’s just a joke i know he’s your fiancee, sissel

H-Hardly a joking matter, in my opinion. “Boyfriends”… Gracious.

Who is that other man, even? I’ve never seen such a … unique face, and I thought I knew all of Yomiel’s good friends.

(Source: meanbooty)